Breast is Best ... Perhaps but the breast doesn't always work.

I caught up with a work friend for lunch today, I entered the office and said hello to all the women I once worked with, as we were leaving to go to lunch, one of the women stopped me and did the normal ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at Sophie and ‘wow, she is so big’. I get this from every person I see, she is in the 97^th percentile for her age, she isn’t completely off the charts, she is healthy and plus chubba bubbas are sooo much cuter.

Then came the question … ‘Are you still breastfeeding?’

Why do people feel the need to ask this question? Why do they feel it to be an important topic to raise when asking how everything is going as a new parent?

My answer … ‘No!’

The response … ‘Oh, that’s OK.’

I know it is … but thank you for feeling as though I needed your reassurance.

I always feel as though I have to then explain myself. I can never answer this question with just a no.

I couldn’t keep up with the demand

I always had problems with my supply

I fed and expressed to boost my supply but nothing helped

I breastfed until 8 weeks

I understand that breast is best but unfortunately not all women are able to provide this method of feeding to their newborns. Too much pressure is put on new Mums, I know from my own situation I completely beat myself up and believed that I was a failure when I finally dropped that last breastfeed.

This wasn’t fair on me or Sophie.

I am now 100% OK with feeding Sophie formula … out of a bottle. At first I was hesitant to pull the bottle out of her nappy bag whilst in public, worried about all of the gleaming eyes as I dared to place a bottle inside my 8 week olds mouth.

So for all of the women out there who feel it their right to ask me whether I am breastfeeding Sophie or not, please know that I do not appreciate your question and next time you may not appreciate my answer. Sophie sleeps through the night, goes down without hassle for day sleeps, has rolled over, is beginning to love nursery rhymes, smiles up at her Mummy with loving eyes, loves bath time and is an amazing addition to my life.

Those aspects of being a new Mum … I would LOVE to share with you.

Crazy !

Rob is currently on his way home from the gym with a raspberry & coconut muffin!! Just what I need ...

My life in one word – CRAZY!

It has been almost 2 weeks since I last blogged which I feel so guilty about. Each day I have wanted to sit behind the laptop but each day is filled with errand running, appointments, coffee catch ups, visits to the gym, or in this week’s case, attempts to visit the gym. I get to the end of the day and my body is still running on adrenaline, Rob baths, massages and feeds Soph while I cook dinner, I then plonk myself on the lounge to watch some telly to unwind, I then get too engrossed in the TV and don’t end up going to bed until 11pm only to do the same all over again the next day.

OK so it’s not all bad, coffee catch ups aren’t a necessity, but there is nothing better than catching up with a girlfriend and having a whinge about our hubbies chat about how fabulous life is.

I went down south last week with 6 girlfriends. Sophie of course was there too and Zac, my gf’s 2 yr old. I was hesitant about going a few days prior as Soph had decided that sleeping all night wasn’t her thing anymore and 3am, 4am and sometimes a midnight wake up was a lot more fun. I was worried about not having Rob there to get up to her if I was too exhausted to lift my head from the pillow, not having Rob there to show her a new face at 5pm when arsenic hour decides to show up.

Sophie shocked me and was amazing. Sleeping in a new room and in her portacot, she slept through the entire night, all 3 of them and went down without any hassles for each of her day sleeps. YAY! We were out and about each day visiting wineries, breweries, wining and dining, and she was a little angel, she must love this lifestyle already, clearly her Mummy’s daughter.

Since coming home she has been sleeping through again, only waking at 330 having a whinge which I wake to only for her to fall asleep again and waking anywhere from 6-7am.

I will thank her for this when she is older.

Each week passes and I stop and think have I really just lived the past 5 days?! The weeks go by so fast, is it because I fill each day with so many things, is it because I am a Mum to a beautiful 4.5 mth old and with her routine it fills each day and I don’t have a moment to sit and reflect?!

Life seems as though it is sailing past me at such a rapid speed, I’m struggling to hold on.

I crave spending days at home, playing with Sophie, allowing her to sleep in her cot for each of her naps, filling her day with calmness which I want her life to have.

Today is my calm day.

I have gone shopping, had lunch with a very close girlfriend, done the grocery shopping, went for a workout, visited my sister, shopped and lunched with her, had a GP appt, went to mothers group, shopped and lunched with my SIL and nephew, attempted a 6am pump class only to pinch a nerve in my back and proceeded to scream with the pain for a good hour, had a morning tea to celebrate my godson’s birthday, had a visit from my parents, weeded, did a small photo shoot with Sophie out in the front garden and cleaned each and every day as I suffer slightly from OCD and can’t stand the kettle from sitting out of place and the mirror having splash marks on it.

PHEW !!

Thank goodness my calm day has arrived.

I have already watched one episode of Gossip Girl, cleaned the outside of our laundry windows (we have 6 very large windows in the laundry) and made the bed. I feel GOOD!!

Do you try and schedule a day per week to do nothing but stay at home?! I need to make this a regular thing. Is it terrible that our lives become so busy that we have to schedule these days into our diary?!

Sophie's Christening

Today you were Christened. It was such a big day for you, apart from a small hiccup you were the same little angel that we have grown to love.

You wore the same dress your Great Aunty Trudy wore and you were Christened in the same church that your Grandpa was Christened in.

You looked BEAUTIFUL.

You had gorgeous tights on and the tiniest of shoes with a hint of sparkle. Mummy found a headband which matched perfectly just days prior and when it all came together I couldn’t believe that you were the same little baby that I gave birth to just four months ago. Your personality evolves each in and every day, your Daddy and I have so much fun with you, we both would like you to slow down the pace in which you are growing though.

You received some beautiful presents today, you were utterly spoilt. The most beautiful white gold cross to treasure forever from Grandma, Grandpa, Aunty Claire & Uncle Ronan and you beat Mummy to owning a little blue box, Aunty Katie, Uncle Darien, Lilli, Annabelle & Thomas gave you a gorgeous Tiffany’s necklace, another piece which will be treasured for a lifetime.

You had the most devine cake. Mummy's friend made it who also made my baby shower cake.

There were five other children being baptised today, it was slightly mayhem inside the church, you decided that you were hungry half an hour earlier than normal and proceeded to scream, cry and scream some more. Nothing I could do would settle you; I ended up feeding you whilst standing at the altar. We think you may be starting your teething journey; you have been so unsettled ever since your 4 month needles on Monday and teething I think may be adding to your unsettledness.

Thank you for being the most amazing part of my life. I think about how lucky I am each and every day. I hope you had a wonderful day.

Catch Up

The past few days seemed to have all rolled into one. I don’t feel as though my head is even attached to my shoulders.

I am super tired and currently suffering from leg cramps in my left leg – too many nightmares are flooding back when I was 7-8 mths pregnant and having to pace up and down the kitchen to try and relieve my cramping legs.

I have been feeling guilty each day this week as I have wanted to jot down so many blog entries but unfortunately at the end of each day I just want to watch some TV, unwind and crawl into bed. So tonight I’m providing you with a quick update with what has been going on in the Jagger home.

Last Friday I caught up with a girlfriend of mine who I met through work. We have been friends for 6+ years now and she is 13 weeks away from welcoming her first little girl into this world. It was non-stop chatter, advice was given, laughs were shared and Sophie got loads of cuddles.

Saturday, I ventured to the gym, a quick 1.4km run on the treadmill and then a pump class. Prior to falling pregnant I was really into my fitness. This doesn’t mean I would calorie count but I certainly loved going to the gym after a day in the office. I am slowly getting back into it. A routine though has been increasingly difficult to form. Sophie unfortunately had a few nights post Easter of waking through the night, after so long of full night’s sleep this definitely threw me.

After seeing what I have to wear to my brother’s wedding at the end of this year, I think this routine needs some attention.

Sunday I was here, there and everywhere. I ventured up to the hills of Perth with Soph, Ma & Pa. I grew up in the hills and I always get a sense of nostalgia as I drive up either of the two main roads heading into town. I would move back there in a heartbeat. It is what I know, everything that I loved about my childhood and upbringing is up there.

I then went to visit my cousin with my sister who is heavily pregnant. I have had news tonight that she is in LABOUR !! I then ventured onto the local golf club and met some friends and their beautiful children there for a drink, my friends, not the kids, don’t worry … I don’t support underage drinking. Well … I did support MY underage drinking … but that’s another story.

This week is all about Sophie marking her 4 month birthday. She had her 4 month needles on Monday … OUCH !! Poor thing cried, dropped the bottom lip and had the expression of ‘what on earth did that lady do to me Mummy?’ She was super tired so it didn’t take long for her to fall asleep in my arms.

We went to IKEA & Harbour Town yesterday and she was a little angel for me until we returned home and she proceeded to throw up for 1.5 hours after one of her feeds, this saw me pay our local pharmacy a visit for some baby panadol and Sophie had her first lot of painkillers. This settled her and she had a full night’s sleep.

We had mothers group this morning and I hosted this week, I baked, not much was eaten. I think everyone was too wrapped up in the babies, well that’s what I am hoping anyway. In the afternoon, Sophie and I headed out in the search of a vintage ivory headband. Sophie’s Christening is this Sunday and I would love her to wear a sweet little headband, we had no luck but we did find the sweetest of shoes and tights … photos to come post Christening.

She had another unsettling evening, even taking the dummy to go to sleep which is so unlike her.

Hopefully tomorrow brings a brand new day !!

I am calling it a night with my two squares of dark orange Lindt chocolate .. YUMMY!

Night all … I promise to pay my blog some more love in the coming week ! xx

Emotions ... Lots of them!

Delving Deeper

Some days are amazing and others I cry for no reason.

Some days Sophie sleeps for 30 or 45 mins during her day sleeps, other days I get 1.5 hours for her first nap and 2 hours for her second sleep.

Some days I sit at home with NO motivation, floating about the house doing small jobs here and small jobs there, watching TV in between. Other days I run errands, do grocery shopping, put more than 1 load of washing on, entertain Soph, do the bath, massage and feed routine and cook dinner without one thought of ‘I’m exhausted’.

Some days I glance over at Rob and think ‘WOW, how did I get so lucky?!’ Other days … I seethe because he hasn’t called up and ordered the wood for the remaining wooden slats to be installed (he did this yesterday after about a year, if not longer), I complain because he hasn’t lifted his mug from the living room floor and I mutter under my breath as I walk past the laundry to find that his piles of underwear, PJ’s and gym clothes are still sitting there and have not been packed away after I asked him about a week ago (I refuse to move them, he doesn’t keep his drawers tidy therefore I do not enter them, there are only so many times that I will clean them out for him).

Some days I eat super healthy because I long to fit into all of my jeans that are sitting in my wardrobe begging me to be worn, other days I sit down to half a block of chocolate.

Some days I create amazing dinners for Rob and I using fresh ingredients and the yummiest of combinations and other days it gets to 7pm and I still haven’t thought about what we will be eating.

Some days Soph is a little angel whilst we are out and about and other days she refuses to be rocked to sleep in both my arms and the pram so I have to leave mothers group early, then she is asleep by the time I have walked to the car then proceeds to have a 2 hour and 15 nap later in the day.

Some days I wake up before Soph, other days I feel like I want to curl up in a corner and pretend the world doesn’t exist because she has woken through the night … 4 nights and counting.

Some days I like the person staring back in the mirror, other days I am pissed off with myself because the house is in shambles, I didn’t make it to the gym and I haven’t ticked anything off my to-do list.

Self-love … I find it difficult of late!

The weekend of over-indulging ...

A weekend spent down in the South West of WA with all of my in-laws. Over-indulged on food, chocolate & wine, there were plenty of laughs, cuddles from nieces & nephews and a long drive home in traffic today. That was how Easter was for the Jaggers.

I got crafty this Easter ... everyone's goodie bags!!

Let the egg hunt begin.

Gorgeous babies!

Hi Thomas!!! Such a happy boy.

The eldest and youngest Jagger grandkids!! Lilli & Soph.

Loving cuddles with Granny.

Enjoying the sunset and view on Easter Sunday night !!

Life doesn't always turn out as you had planned ...

One decision can change your life forever.

My parents have always put their children and others first. They are the most giving of people.

I remember coming out of my bedroom one night when I was 18 to find a couple sitting at the dinner table eating the Spaghetti Bolognese that was left over from our dinner. They had fronted up at the church which happened to be across the road from our house, someone called my Dad and my Dad invited them inside. He fed them and found them a place to stay for the night.

These are the kinds of people that both my Mum and Dad are.

My Mum was a SAHM until I was 12. She then decided to enter the workforce as her youngest was just about to enter high school and the extra money would give her and Dad the life they had always dreamed of.

We lived in a beautiful home in the hills of Perth, they had a boat, my Dad held a very good job, only 2 out of the 5 children remained at home and they were happy.

When I was 17 my 3 older siblings had all located to the Northern Suburbs, a 50km drive from our family home, I was no longer in school so my parents decided to move house. We moved into my parent’s investment property and we sold the family home, a day that I will never forget.

When the home was first put on the market my friends would walk past and take down the For Sale sign, clearly I wasn’t the only one that didn’t want us to move.

We decided to live in this new house until Mum and Dad fell in love with something else. At this stage they had the home we lived in and 2 investment properties, 2 apartments. It wasn’t long before we spotted a home not far from where we were living and my parents put an offer in.

Over time due to different circumstances my parents sold both investment properties, they were now living very comfortably in the new family home and looking forward to their final working years.

My Dad was finding his workplace increasingly difficult due to certain office politics and regulations that were put in place, my Dad resigned to take on a role as a courier.

This is how it all started …

The next terrible and bizarre decision that my parents were to make was to purchase a café, not just any café, one in a very large chain. They both left their jobs to become business owners and hopefully become coffee connoisseurs.

The business may have worked however an extremely large fork was thrown into the road, my sister required medical attention, not just any medical attention, medical attention which would entail her flying to Vancouver, Canada and spending 6 months in a private rehabilitation centre. Medical attention which would entail my parents paying for me to fly her over as she was too sick to fly on her own, medical attention which would entail my parents flying over for family therapy and paying for my other sister to accompany them. Medical attention which was only meant to take 3 months but was extended to 6 as they didn’t realise just how sick my sister was.

My parents struggled as they tried to build their new business and pay to save my sister’s life.

 
They had to make the decision for my Dad to return to work as a courier as neither of them were making a wage from the café.

My parents re-financed and struggled to come up with the $15,000 per month rent for the café.

They kept their smiles through all of this.

6 months later my sister returned, hopefully a brand new girl.

My parents received the final bill for my sister’s 6 month stay … in excess of $200,000.

If they had not have made the decision to purchase a café at the age of 62, if they had to re-finance without the crippling business hanging over their heads, $200,000 would have been tough but definitely doable.

My parents struggled to keep their heads high, they struggled to accept the fact that everything they had worked so hard for was falling down around them.

After working 6 day weeks and extremely long hours they unfortunately were unable to get out on top. They were granted approval to access their superannuation early to help cover the expenses; even with this my parents had to make the emotional decision to declare bankruptcy.

This decision cost them everything, their spark for life, their pride and unfortunately their home.

My eldest sister made the decision to buy their home; thankfully she was in a position to do so. Now my parents are renting the home that they had worked so hard to buy and pay off.

I look at my parents each and every day and admire them. They both have their health; they have 5 healthy and happy children and 8 beautiful grandchildren.

I still have not come to terms with the fact that their lives have turned out this way, I struggle knowing they won’t have the retirement they one day had hoped they would have.

Life really sucks sometimes …