Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Emotions ... Lots of them!

Delving Deeper

Some days are amazing and others I cry for no reason.

Some days Sophie sleeps for 30 or 45 mins during her day sleeps, other days I get 1.5 hours for her first nap and 2 hours for her second sleep.

Some days I sit at home with NO motivation, floating about the house doing small jobs here and small jobs there, watching TV in between. Other days I run errands, do grocery shopping, put more than 1 load of washing on, entertain Soph, do the bath, massage and feed routine and cook dinner without one thought of ‘I’m exhausted’.

Some days I glance over at Rob and think ‘WOW, how did I get so lucky?!’ Other days … I seethe because he hasn’t called up and ordered the wood for the remaining wooden slats to be installed (he did this yesterday after about a year, if not longer), I complain because he hasn’t lifted his mug from the living room floor and I mutter under my breath as I walk past the laundry to find that his piles of underwear, PJ’s and gym clothes are still sitting there and have not been packed away after I asked him about a week ago (I refuse to move them, he doesn’t keep his drawers tidy therefore I do not enter them, there are only so many times that I will clean them out for him).

Some days I eat super healthy because I long to fit into all of my jeans that are sitting in my wardrobe begging me to be worn, other days I sit down to half a block of chocolate.

Some days I create amazing dinners for Rob and I using fresh ingredients and the yummiest of combinations and other days it gets to 7pm and I still haven’t thought about what we will be eating.

Some days Soph is a little angel whilst we are out and about and other days she refuses to be rocked to sleep in both my arms and the pram so I have to leave mothers group early, then she is asleep by the time I have walked to the car then proceeds to have a 2 hour and 15 nap later in the day.

Some days I wake up before Soph, other days I feel like I want to curl up in a corner and pretend the world doesn’t exist because she has woken through the night … 4 nights and counting.

Some days I like the person staring back in the mirror, other days I am pissed off with myself because the house is in shambles, I didn’t make it to the gym and I haven’t ticked anything off my to-do list.

Self-love … I find it difficult of late!

5 comments:

  1. I adore you Jayne.

    You are just the nicest person.

    And you are so normal, & you are so like any mother & housewife trying to juggle it all, & we all have days where we cry & just want to eat chocolate.

    Can I just say you have the most enviable post baby body?!

    And you are doing a wonderful job!

    And I'm not just saying this.

    I look at you in awe, & think how is she doing so brilliantly?!

    But you are Jayne.

    You are doing BRILLIANTLY!

    xx

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    1. Oh thanks hun ... my ass and thighs beg to differ ha ha!
      I'm not always doing brilliantly .. I must admit, Soph has been an amazing baby so my journey so far has been more positive then negative but when those bad days do show their face, it feels as though the entire 3.5 mths of her life have been sleep deprived and full of tears.
      Motherhood changes your life completely and you can never be fully prepared for it!
      xx

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  2. Everything you've written is the truth and we've all been there. Unfortunately it doesn't change much with time but I think you become accustomed to dealing with the emotional rollercoaster. Xx

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  3. Hi Jayne, I've only just discovered your blog andam off to read back through some of your older posts. This post of yours would hit home to many new Mums, I can relate to lots of what you've described. Some days are gems, other days you're waiting to hit the pillow so a new one can begin :)

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    1. Welcome Amanda. It is such a HUGE learning curve isn't it. I wouldn't change anything but some days are definitely a struggle ! x

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