Adoption

Adoption is a topic in which I hold closely to my heart.

The strength in which women must have, to endure 9 months of bonding with their unborn child to then give it up either willingly or otherwise is staggering.

I caught the end of ‘Adoption’ tonight, a show on foxtel. The majority of the cases portrayed on this show are families seeking adoption through orphanages. Tonight’s episode showed a young couple who had two biological children of their own, a 3 year old and a 5 month old who went on to adopt two Russian babies, both only 12 months of age and not siblings themselves.

They became parents to 4 children under the age of 3.

I admire them.

To know that there are people within this world that want nothing more than to be a parent and to be a parent to children who really need them, who want nothing more than love is a beautiful thing.

There are an estimated 163,000,000 orphans worldwide (www.worldorphans.org).

163,000,000. That number is mind blowing.

I tear up when I watch shows like ‘Adoption’, knowing that there are young defenceless children throughout the world living in orphanages who don’t know any different just breaks my heart.

I like to think that they will all find a loving home one day, that they will receive the childhood they deserve, that they will be shown love like no other.

Wishful thinking in some cases I think.

I was in the city today and whilst waiting for my boost juice, I witnessed a young family standing near-by, they had 4 children who all looked to be under the age of 6. The way in which their Mother spoke to them, unfortunately didn’t shock me but it hurt me.

Minutes later I wound up in the same shop as this family, I was waiting to be served and whilst doing so, the two eldest children stood beside me and were smiling away at Sophie in the pram who was smiling back at them, these children had the most beautiful smiles, the eldest happily spoke to me and told his siblings not to touch anything in the store. I thought to myself, I wonder what kind of life these children will have; do they hear words of discouragement along with harsh tones from their parents constantly?!

I understand that I only witnessed a 5 minute interaction between Mother and Child and it may not necessarily always be this way but I definitely sensed a vibe and it was certainly not a positive one.

After bringing Sophie into this world, after longing for her prior to falling pregnant, after experiencing the pain of child birth and having her lifted onto my chest after the emotional pushing phase wanting so desperately to meet this new little person which I helped create and which I got to feel grow inside me, I cannot think of hurting her with negativity, hurting her with threats (OK, so maybe tiny white lie threats to use as bribery may have to come into play at some point) and I definitely cannot think of putting her down in public or in the privacy of our own home.

I want to be able to be the Mother to Sophie that my Mother was to me, the caring, supportive & loving Mother I know that I can be.

My Mother was meant to be a Mum, so much so that after experiencing 3 miscarriages, she and my Dad were told they would never have a biological child of their own.

This was 40 years ago …

40 years ago with this information in hand, they applied to adopt.

40 years ago, at two weeks of age, my brother Justin was picked up at the hospital by my parents.

40 years ago, my parents began their journey of parenthood.

This is why adoption is a topic in which I hold closely to my heart.

I have never seen my brother as anything else, but that, my brother.

Both Rob and I have experienced adoption within our immediate families but from opposite sides.

I have a brother who is not my biological brother; he does not know any information about his biological family.

Rob on the other hand, his Mum gave birth to a boy when she was very young and actually adopted him out. When Rob was a teenager, this boy, now a man searched for his biological Mother and was successful. Rob now had 2 brothers, a full brother from his parents and now a half-brother.

My MIL is a very strong-willed, independent and loving woman. The strength she must have had to do what she did 51 years ago is admirable. She wanted him to have an upbringing which she wasn’t able to provide at the time.  

Through adoption my Mum was able to start the family she had dreamt of having. Through adoption my MIL was able to bring her son into this world and offer him a life she wished she could have given him.

If I could adopt even just 5 of the 163,000,000 orphans, I would.

I give thanks every day that I was able to bring a baby of my own into this world. I give thanks every day that my family is happy and healthy.