Swollen feet – sore coccyx - tired - bloated !!
This is why I stopped venturing out with my girlfriends in the late stages of my pregnancy.
Now I feel disconnected.
It is time to reconnect.
Am I ready ?!
Last night saw the first time that I have been out in a LONG time. The girls were meeting for dinner at 630pm followed by drinks, I was meant to join them for dinner but as it turned out (which was for the best) I stayed at home to feed Sophie, Rob and I had dinner together and I was able to put Sophie to bed and leave knowing that she was fast asleep and content.
I met the girls at 830, I survived until 11pm. Not too bad I think.
I was really hesitant about going, I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope driving my car into town knowing Sophie wasn’t in the car with me, knowing she was sleeping at home but could wake at any moment and may want her Mummy. Having one of my closest girlfriends out with me who is also a Mum definitely helped.
The connection and longing to be with Sophie was present from the moment that the midwives lifted her onto my chest on the 19th December.
As Mums, do we ever ‘let go’? Do we ever feel content with regaining a part of our pre-baby life? Our lives take on an entirely different direction, do we actually ever want the past to re-enter our new future?
The answer to this in which I discovered last night was YES! But just a little bit.
I believe small amounts of separation are both good for baby & Mum. It gave me a chance to miss her, to regain sanity after sleep deprivation and to feel pretty again.
You need it.
ReplyDeleteBut no, the longing never goes away :)
I pined for Max throughout my best friend's entire wedding.
And then I felt guilty for pining, when I should have been concentrating on, & celebrating such a beautiful day!
The pining. It never goes away :)
xx