Tuesday, 15 May 2012

A Memory ...

Facebook … the bearer of news! Good and bad.

Last night whilst scrolling through my feed, I saw a status update ‘So happy for my baby brother Jamie and his beautiful wife Ro love you both.’

Jamie … he is my ex-boyfriend.

I was instantly excited for him. I will be honest, it felt a little weird hearing of this news but then I thought ‘why should it?’

I am married and have been for over 3 years, I have a beautiful little girl to said husband. There are of course no feelings there, I think when it is a clean break-up and you remain on talking terms, to know someone you once shared your life with has made that commitment still has a ??? feeling.

I lingered on this for a few minutes … I can’t think of what feeling you get, but it’s a feeling.

I wonder how he felt when he saw photos of my wedding, when he found out that I was pregnant?! He is a guy … he probably felt nothing.

I was 17 when I first met Jamie, at a friends 18th. I turned 18 whilst we were dating; the dating period was all of 10 months. Feels like years when you’re 18.

We were with each other almost every day of these months, staying either at my parents’ house or his. He became part of the family; I became a part of his.

This to many wouldn’t seem like a relationship worth remembering, however, today as I type this I am 25 years of age (+ 7 months). We broke up when I was 18 + 5 months. We have been broken up for 7 years … wow that seems like a lifetime ago when I type that number. I have been with Rob for 5 years + 9 months. If my maths skills are anything to go by I was single for one month short of 18 months.

Rob was the guy after this break up.

During these 17 months of single life, I moved out of home, I partied like there was no tomorrow, I changed jobs, I dated and then I moved back home.

I grew up.

It was a clean break up. I moved on. He moved on.

Hearing this got me thinking ... do you hold onto photos from the past? I LOVE taking photos; anyone who follows me on Instagram would know this. I have oodles of photo albums from when I was about 15 to 21. Technology clearly evolved at this point and I now rely on FB, my iPhone and the laptop for my photo viewing.

I still have photos of Jamie in said photo albums. I don’t look through my albums very often but there are still photos in there. Is this something that you should destroy when you move on? Is this something that should never be viewed again by you or your new partner?

I haven’t kept them so I can have a perve … I have kept them as memories.

Memories of a relationship that didn’t destroy me, memories of my 18th, memories showing who I was for 10 months of my life.

Rob has never expressed his concern of me not getting rid of every photo that has him in it, Rob himself has photos of his ex-girlfriend. Rob dated his ex for 10 years. 10 years is a long time to be with someone, I wouldn’t ask him to throw them away. That would be destroying a huge chunk of his life.

For 5 years + 9 months I have been creating new memories each and every day. Recording every moment (annoying Rob as he believes I take TOO MANY photos). I have compiled photo albums – real & online albums, these are the photos that I hold onto, these are the photos that I look over each and every day, these are the photos that matter, these are the photos that I will treasure for ever.

The others are a memory, a memory that will always be with me, a memory to look back on, just that … a memory!

2 comments:

  1. I think i know how you feel.

    My ex and I broke up a long time ago and as they say, your ex is an ex for a reason. But at the same time, he was a big part of my life for a long time. A lot of my 'stories' from my past include him and he's in various pictures.

    I'm still good friends with his sister and he has tried twice to add me to FB but I spoke to Matt about it and it made him feel uncomfortable, which is fine, I don't need to have my ex on my FB! But through the grapevine we've heard about each others new partners and children.

    I'm happy that he's happy, I certainly don't wish him any harm. It's weird to think I have been replaced, but at the same time, so has he! And it's not so much replaced, more that we've both moved on to things (and people) better suited to us.

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  2. My partners ex girlfriend went through his photos and removed all photos of ex girlfriends. He finds it sad. I find it awful! I would never expect him to do that for me and I would be mortified if he expected it of me! They are memories and moments of your life, you cant just erase them!

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