Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Mind is Racing ...

I have always been an over-thinker, someone who can’t completely switch off, someone who races around like a bull at a gate with 15 things on my to-do list with about 20 minutes to do it all in.

The last few days has my head feeling as though it will burst at any second. Just a few of the things that have been happening, which have been keeping me back from my blogging.

I needed new glasses, I mysteriously lost my really good pair leaving me with a pair I bought around 5 years ago that sit wonky over my nose and the lenses are scratched. I am blind without my glasses or contacts in. BLIND. I was also told 3 years ago I shouldn’t wear my contacts as much as I was which resulted in me putting drops in my eyes every hour and going to sleep with a steroid gel in my eyes each night for a few months. Hello glasses every day.

I left myself with wonky glasses since 6 weeks before Sophie came into this world, which means for 7 months I have been making do and wearing contacts way too often and my eyes are now paying for it. I made an appt for an eye test which was today, knowing that I have already claimed 100% of my private health rebate I knew this was going to be an expensive appt. I chose some new frames which I can show off in 7-10 days, had my eye test and ordered some new contacts as I only have one pair left leaving me with handing over my credit card for a $760.80 payment.

So when will I be going back to work to help with all of this spending I seem to be doing lately?!

Which brings me to my next thought clouding my mind.

Work.

I always said I would go back to work after having 12 months off. The time is going way too quickly though, in 5 months I would have been off work for 12 months. In 5 months I will have to have had a day care organised and Sophie booked into said day care. In 5 months I will have to leave Sophie for an entire day, something I am definitely not ready for. In 5 months I will have to be able to hold an adult conversation not entirely based on what milestones Sophie has achieved in the past week and what she is now eating.

Hhmmmm in 5 months there are too many things that will be expected of me.

There is the option I have at the moment of becoming a Thermomix consultant, I love the machines and will own one if I become a consultant as I will use my commission to pay it off. The benefits from your sales seem too good to be true, I can do two evenings a week which wouldn’t impact on my time with Sophie and means I can start making an income straight away.

I went to an information session this morning so need to nut out the figures with Rob.

Which brings me to my next thought.

Homes.

We bought our house some 5 years ago. We instantly fell in love. It was a doer uppera … ha ha is that even an expression?! My Dad came and looked at it with us one day, his words were ‘a paint and prosper … you can’t go wrong’.

Some 5 years later we are still renovating.

We have done EVERYTHING. A new roof was installed after removing the old asbestos roof. We re-wired, we installed new plumbing, replaced some of the ceilings, ripped up concrete flooring, laid new wooden floor boards, new kitchen, new bathroom, new built in wardrobes, a re-paint of walls and window frames, excavated a crap load of sand from our front yard to make it level, built a huge limestone retaining wall and made a very pretty garden, built decking, laid grass, planted plants, then it was onto the back, a patio was built, more decking was installed, more grass was laid and more plants were planted.

All of this was done by Rob … yep I’m pretty lucky!!

Now after all of this hard work we want to move. I feel so many emotions about this (perhaps this needed its own blog post).

In hindsight we should have extended not just renovated, we have a beautiful character home on a big block but the house isn’t big enough, the front door opens directly to our living room, we only have one bathroom and the spare room for baby number 2 is way too close to the kitchen, the poor child would never sleep.

As I am typing this I am realising these aren’t valid points to move and perhaps they are not but property is something that we are both really interested in and we always spoke about moving on from here to a bigger family home and we both would love to build.

This is already proving to be extremely stressful. We would like to stay in the same area, the only blocks that are available are too small or too big, therefore we need too much money to buy a big block and subdivide and build two storey which we would prefer a single.

Everyone says how stressful building is, after renovating I thought I could handle it but after looking at realestate.com almost daily for a block or an old home that we could possibly knock down I am not sure I could handle 12 months of planning and finalising another home.

So this has been me, all of these thoughts running through my head, and not just for the past few days, this has been for the past weeks if not months. I can easily spend a lot of time on the couch watching Friends re-runs but there is never a moment where my mind is switched off.

I constantly have a list of bills that need to be paid running through my mind.

Sophie’s feed and sleep times for the day.

List of jobs that need to be finished around our un-finished renovated home.

Meals to be cooked for the coming week.

Loads of washing needing to be put on and folded sitting waiting for me in the laundry.

Work options to make both Mummy and baby happy.

Home plans … block options … suburb choice … money to buy said block to build said home in goodness knows what suburb.

My mind never switches off. I feel guilty at the end of each day when I haven’t crossed everything off of my to-do list. When I still haven’t made that phone call to my beautiful friend Jo who was my bridesmaid but now lives on the opposite side of the country who I told I would call last week.

Can you half tell?! This blog post is all over the place … I switch from one thought to the next too quickly.

Not unlike my cleaning. My cleaning day involves my bed made, but dirty clothes still on the floor, toilet with duck marinating at the same time as my couch being cleaned at the same time as putting a load of washing on. I don’t ever complete one job entirely before moving onto the next.

Scatter brain much ?! Signing off now before I completely bore you all and make you think ‘I’m never reading this girls blog again’.

3 comments:

  1. Not at all…this is exactly how I feel. Well until recently when my work situation changed but there are still plenty of thoughts revolving around cleaning, cooking, social obligations to various family and friends, birthdays to remember and gifts to buy and phone calls to be made for them, the usual why don’t I eat better/exercise more internal guilt trips, the I must organise Gymbaroo/playgroup/swimming lessons thoughts for the baby, the when should I have another baby thoughts, the planning a much needed holiday thoughts, plus my overall annoyance with not being able to move or buy because the Sydney property market is so insanely expensive, trying to stay up to date with social media. It’s so hard to keep a straight head when there are so many things inside it!

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  2. Im a bit similar. We need a bigger house if we want more babies but right now we are in no situation to be doing that (on one income-mine!). We only have a 2 bedroom, one living area house so not sure whether to just pack up and move but then our market is so small to re-purchase our house, or to build on which could be a possibility.
    Im interested in how the thermomix info sesh went as i also thought about that as a second job. Because the product is so pricey i thought even if you sold one at a party surely that would be a good bit of extra cash. Did you just speak to a local consultant?
    I hope some clarity comes to you soon.

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  3. That's a lot of things swirling around in your head!

    There are a whole heap of exciting opportunities ahead of you now!!! And in the present, you have your amazing family. You are blessed, Jayne, and you should be excited about the future because everything will work out how it should, things always do. xxxxx

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